My journey to a healthier me

On the basis I’ve missed 4 days of this blog, it’s fair to say that I’ve fallen off the wagon a bit. Back on today to give myself a bit of accountability.

Three reasons for losing my way-1) low mood from Day 12-16 2) visiting friends Day 13-14 and 3) the gym instructor being excessively demanding and feeling belittled and berated.

All of which culminated in tears on Day 16 where I almost decided not to go back to the gym classes I was feeling so awful. Just got flashbacks to the awfulness that was high school PE!

But I slept on it and Day 15 dawned and I woke up feeling better mentally and able to see things more clearly. Reminded myself it was 6 weeks not 6 months, I wasn’t committed to doing any more than that. And was also aware that, while I might not say I am ‘enjoying’ the gym classes, when I’m working up a sweat and feeling like I’m doing actual exercise, it does feel like I’m doing myself some good and that is a good feeling.

What I’ve learned from the last few days is that making too many changes too quickly isn’t sustainable. So I’ve calmed down a bit with the eating and have allowed myself to have a couple of ‘unhealthy’ things today but hopefully haven’t overdone it. It is still better than before because I’m not binging on snacks and my meals are generally healthier.

I’m going to keep going to the classes but I’m now unsure whether to continue at the end of the 6 weeks. I do want to have plan to keep up a similar level of exercise but I’m not sure if this gym is the right fit for me longer term.

Completely lost it today. Feeling unwell (mentally and physically 😞). Didn’t manage to gym class this morning. Ate some healthy stuff but also a slice of pizza and chocolate. Annoyed with myself as I had been doing so well but the warning bells were ringing as my resolve/willpower had been tested this week. And now we’re off to friends for the weekend. I wish I could say I’ll be back on it next week but I think I’m on a knife edge 😦

Well managed to get back on the journey today after my blip yesterday! That is a major achievement for me. In the past, I would have lost my willpower completely because it slipped for a short time.

Managed my gym class this morning and I think I might be getting a bit stronger. Almost managed a push up today unbelievably!

Ate well today too. Feeling a bit hungry tonight but will manage until the morning.

Apprehensive about the weekend as we’re away staying with friends overnight and it will definitely be a case of trying to make as good a choice as I can but accepting that I might not be able to make as good choices as I do at home.

I’m feeling quite determined now to try to get below 11 stone by the end of the 6 weeks if at all possible. Although at the end of the day, the main thing is to have lost some weight, feel healthier, broken some bad habits and formed some new healthier ones.

In the meantime, I just need to keep swimming!

I’ll keep it short so I don’t completely fall off the wagon. Did ok today eating and exercise until…my husband decided to have a night ‘off’ healthy eating and got in Cola and gummy sweets. And I just couldn’t resist. I think it was partly because I still felt hungry after dinner. I probably wouldn’t have been too fussed if I’d not been so hungry. (Mental note to self-look into dessert type snacks)

Anyway, I enjoyed the Cola. The gummy sweets weren’t as yummy. But after it I felt bloated and lethargic. Honestly, it wasn’t worth it. If I’m going to have a cheat night, I think it needs to be planned for and I need to make sure that when I’m cheating it’s with something I really enjoy!

I’ve told myself I will get back on to healthy eating etc tomorrow. I just hope I can do it. I am a bit disappointed in myself that I didn’t keep it up tonight. But…I’ve done 10 days now and only 32 to go so I feel like I can and should keep going!

Working days are definitely much easier to eat better than non working days! No kids to cater for, more to keep my occupied and less opportunity to snack!

Managed to fit in another gym class tonight as we are away this weekend. And for week weigh in-11st8lb which is 5lb off in a week. Now before I get too excited, I do think they might have made a mistake at the first weigh in. But even still, it’s clearly a loss which is the main thing! Very happy with that and it’s given me the boost I need to keep on going even though I’m not finding the gym classes any easier lol!

I don’t want to jinx this but today eating healthily actually felt easy-like so much so I actually started thinking I must have cheated somehow and have forgotten.

I didn’t walk today so haven’t managed as much exercise. But I’m way less sore today than I’ve been the day after the other classes I’ve done. I’m hoping that is a good sign. On the other hand, I’ve been totally full of wind. Dinner last night had butter beans so I’m thinking that’s what’s caused it.

I tried green tea for the first time too. It was ok but with a spoonful of honey to sweeten made it palatable. I’d like to try to drink more than a cup a day but I’m not sure if 3 spoonfuls of honey a day is particularly good for my weight loss.

Stepped on the scales today and they are definitely going in the right direction. I’m not going to say what it says as I’m keen to go on what the gym scales say at the end of the six weeks as that should allow time to level out the normal ups and downs in my weight loss. I’m trying not to get too bogged down by numbers but I would be incredibly pleased if I managed to lose 10lbs over the 6 weeks. I know that’s pretty ambitious but if I can just keep swimming in the right direction, I’m starting to feel like it *might* not be beyond the realms of possibility!

I suppose the only thing I’m wondering, and it is very early days, is what to do after the 6 weeks is up. Options appear to be: 1)Keep doing what I’m doing, including during upcoming holidays 2)Have a break over holiday and then go back to classes/healthy eating 3)Keep up healthy eating but try to exercise in different way (ie not the gym class) 4)Stop doing everything.

At day 8, I think the only option to rule out is 4. I definitely want to continue with healthy eating and exercise as long as I possibly can now I’ve started.

So today’s been the hardest day so far to stick to healthy eating. Managed to get to the gym class first thing. Felt less sore and quite energised after it even though everyone else in the group is much much fitter than I am! Home for a shower and some rye bread with mashed banana. Then off to a family birthday party.

Like yesterday it was very hard to refuse food without appearing rude! I managed to avoid temptation by explaining I’d eaten before I came. So temptation number one avoided.

Temptation number 2 was then the kids asking for pizza for dinner. Now, although I’m trying to lose weight, it’s definitely not my intention for them to follow the same eating habits. So we agreed to them getting pizza. They left some. The temptation not to eat the leftovers was too much. I had some pizza crust and it tasted amazing!

The final temptation was that we had family round after dinner tonight and the kids had some chocolate buttons. Normally I’d be the first to scoop a few for myself when I’m opening the packet for them. But I managed to resist the temptation (unbelievably!). I just know if I ate even one, I’d have wanted the whole packet!

I was craving something sweet after dinner tonight though and felt hungry which I’ve not really felt this week. Ate a couple of dry oatcakes before bed which seems to have helped.

Seeing how difficult this weekend has been has made me wonder how I’m not the size of a house given that previously I’d have eaten a lot more unhealthy foods than I did today! However the only unhealthy foods I’ve eaten this weekend have been a chocolate cupcake and some pizza crust which is definitely a lot better than I would have done previously.

It has really brought into focus for me how much the weekends and socialising with friends and family impact on what I’m eating. And on the basis I’m not willing to give up doing nice things and seeing people at the weekend, I do wonder how it will be possible to maintain doing something like today on a longer term basis. Perhaps if I see positive results at the end of this six weeks, that will be the real incentive to keep going.

Sore today after the gym class session yesterday. Really felt challenged today to stick to eating healthily.

First challenge was at lunchtime-our normal routine would be an lovely fresh white baguette with cheese and salad. I felt a bit sad that I didn’t have that. But I replaced the baguette with rye bread and it was actually ok. Not quite so yummy but not awful.

The second challenge was I visited someone else’s house with my child and I don’t know the mum very well. She has bought chocolate cupcakes for us coming and gave my son and I one. I just didn’t have it in me to refuse as I didn’t want to be rude. So I ate it and made sure I enjoyed every bit of it! I’m just not sure how I could have tactfully refused without causing a lot of offence! I don’t think I’ll call that a fail.

But it’s really made me realise how much of a challenge my weekend is to eating well. And that the weekend has probably been sabotaging my weight loss, regardless of how ‘good’ I’d been through the week.

The other thing I’m starting to realise is that the time commitment to exercise and eating healthier is massive and has probably been the biggest contributor to my lack of willpower/determination etc. The gym classes plus healthy eating is really eating into my time. I’ve said 6 weeks which makes it more manageable but whether or not I can sustain the time commitment beyond then is a very tricky question!

It’s been a really busy day today. But, despite being out for lunch and then round at a friends after dinner, I still made healthy choices! Water to drink. Baked potato and salad for lunch. That’s a lot of progress for me! Now let’s hope I can keep it up over the weekend!

It’s been a fairly sedentary day today as I’ve been chained to my desk all day! But…I’ve managed to make good choices with food. Headaches have been much better today. I had two squares of dark chocolate (85%) as a replacement for my usual chocolate fix. I wouldn’t say it exactly replaced my Cadburys version but it did satisfy my craving and 2 small squares took me a good half hour to eat so it wasn’t all bad.

Tomorrow is going to be a challenge. I’ve got a busy day including a lunch out. But first thing I’ve got my next group personal training class. Honestly, I’m probably not looking forward to it. I’ve only just started being able to walk properly again after Monday so goodness knows what it’ll be like! But at least I’ll get it over and done with early in the day and then I’m meeting my friend for lunch.

Lunch out is going to be tricky. Eating out and the weekend are the two things that I’ve always found the most difficult when making good food choices in the past. Im off right now to have a look at the menu for the place and will be right back.

I’m back. But I’ve not found anything online with the menu 😭 Ok, this is an unexpected extra test of my willpower-making good choices at home is much more likely than making good choices at the actual restaurant. Especially after a likely brutal workout.

I think I’ll need to be realistic about this. I might not be able to make a great choice but if I stick to sparkling water, avoid desserts and sides, even something a bit on the unhealthy side won’t take me completely off course. It looks like pub grub so I’m planning for baked potato as best case option. If not that then a vegetarian choice or steak/chicken based dish. I just hope the post exercise munchies don’t get the better of me but I’ll report back tomorrow!